3.  Accept that not every parent is going to like you.

This is a fact that is hard for many teachers, especially those just beginning, to come to terms with and I have to admit it's still hard for me.  But, the truth is, there will be times when you bend over backwards for families and it will not be appreciated.  In some communities, it's not uncommon for teachers to be cussed out and physically threatened.  I say this not to scare you but to prepare you- I wish someone had told me before I started teaching that just because I know I'm doing a good job doesn't mean all of my families will agree!  Some people take their personal problems out on everyone around them, and just like there are positive people and negative people in general, there are positive and negative parents.   The key is to develop a thick skin and not take it personally.  If you've made a mistake, admit it and make amends.  If you know in your heart you've done the best job you can do, relax and let it go (without rehashing the situation a million times with everyone in the school- see the Top Ten Tips for Teachers page).  

4.  Try to make parents feel as acknowledged and appreciated as their children.

If a parent writes me a letter and I don't have time to respond the same day, I send home a received your note form to let them know I got it and intend to respond as soon as possible.  If they send in tissues or dry erase markers, I assure them the supplies made it safely with a thank you for supplies form.  When they place Scholastic book orders, I send home a book order thank you, as well.  Once I have printed and photocopied these papers, they take only a minute to gather and distribute to students, they keep me from having to follow up on these matters later, and they allow for consistent communication with parents.

5.  Be as flexible and accommodating as reasonably possible.

If a parent is late for a conference or shows up on the wrong date, meet with her anyway.  If a family is going out of town and requests make-up work, provide something for the child to work on.  If the family has had an 'emergency' and requests extra time to complete homework, allow it one time.  It's not necessary to treat grown adults like they are children who must have all rules strictly enforced every single time.  Aren't we as teachers late to work sometimes?  Don't we occasionally lose things?   Don't we need reminders about meetings and forgiveness when we forget to turn in paperwork to administration?  Show grace to your students' families whenever possible.

Innovative Ways to Communicate With Families

1.  Notify parents of positive behavior, too, especially when kids are having problems.

I have a set of "Good news from school!" postcards that I address to each family at the beginning of the year.  Periodically, when I notice a streak of particularly cooperative behavior or academic gains, I fill out a short message and mail them off (my school provides the postage for me).  I can tell who hasn't gotten a note home yet just by looking at the stack of pre-addressed cards left.  I also try to write specific, personal comments on progress reports and weekly evaluations to let parents know I notice their children as individuals ("Jacob has really enjoyed learning about habitats- his ocean mural was really creative!" or "Shauna showed me the book you bought her about slavery.  She has a knack for history, and I'm glad you were able to help her learn more about a topic that really interested her. Let me know if you need suggestions for more resources- there's a great exhibit coming to the Smithsonian next month").  Here's a sample 'good day note home' you can keep on your hard drive and type student's names directly into, or handwrite.  You could also print one out for each child and keep the stack in your desk- that way you can tell just by looking who hasn't had a postive note home yet. A simple phone call can have the greatest impact of all- most parents have never been called by a teacher unless their child was in serious trouble, and having you call to report good news will leave a lasting impact.

2.  Send home daily or weekly evaluations to keep parents updated on behavior and work habits.

Parents hate finding out about problems that have already been going on for weeks or months.  If you sense a child has become disinterested in school, has been getting in conflicts  more often on the playground, or has been out of his/her seat more than usual, jot it down on a weekly contact form that parents sign and return.  This not only lets parents know what's going on, but also keeps children accountable for their behavior and provides written proof that you have informed families about your concerns.  See more information about creating and using these forms on the Weekly Evaluations page. 

3.  Don't wait for report cards to update parents on academic progress!

Most teachers send home daily or weekly evaluations that only address work habits and social growth but don't give a clear picture of how students are doing academically.  We all have students who turn in their work and are well-behaved but are working far below grade level, and conversely, kids who are always in trouble but still manage to get good grades.  The typical weekly evaluation form can leave parents and children feeling very surprised when report card time rolls around if the teacher isn't very clear about the forms' limitations!  One way to address this issue is by using bi-weekly student work sample reports.  Send home all graded student work home every two weeks with a form that has student reflections on it and detailed comments from you about how the student is progressing, as well as a place for parents to give feedback.  You can read more about various ways to send home graded work on the Bi-Weekly Work Sample Folders page.

4.  Teach kids to keep communication and documentation organized.

5.  Provide a class handbook. 

I expanded my parent letter into a handbook that students keep in their BEE books so their parents can reference it as needed.  Information about everything from behavior to homework policies in included.  You can see a copy of my work-in-progress here.

6.  Send home surveys twice a year to elicit parent and student feedback.

If you're like me, you wonder, do the parents feel informed about what's going on in the classroom?  Do they think the homework I give is too easy or takes too long to complete?  Do they understand what I expect of the students?  Type up a few of these questions and allow parents to share their thoughts, even anonymously if they choose. Remember that not everyone will like everything you're doing in the classroom, stay focused on the big picture that forms when you view the survey results as a whole. I have learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses through these surveys, and keep them as documentation as well.  Even if parents do not return them, at least I know their input has been requested and welcomed. Sometimes I'll send home surveys for specific purposes, such as a homework survey. I also like togive surveys to students.  These often turn up very interesting opinions and facts about the children I probably would never have known otherwise.  The kids share what activities have helped them learn best, which didn't, their feelings about me, their peers, their school, and suggestions for making our classroom a better place.  Here's a sample survey I send home after progress reports go out.

7.  Send home weekly, biweekly, or monthly newsletters.

One year, two or three parents wrote in the end of year survey that they didn't always know what was going on in the classroom, so I started sending home classroom newsletters.  It's called the "Ask me about..." and lets parents know what the kids have been learning about through questions they can ask.  Too often when parents ask what a child did in school that day, the answer is "nothing" or something vague, and the "Ask Me About..." provides specific questions parents can ask to get specific answers.  There is also a section written by the Guest Columnist of the week- students take turns writing about what they learned that week.  Parents love that feature and often save the newsletter that their child helped write.  Sometimes I send home attachments if I notice a particular issue arising for multiple children, such as this letter about poor test grades or how to help with spelling issues. You might also want to check out Debra Henk's Reading 180 page for sample newsletters and great websites for parents (you could suggest one in each newsletter).

8.  Incorporate technology to foster communication.

Remember-  Document ALL contact with parents!

When I first started teaching, I thought this was paranoia and a waste of valuable time, but I learned the hard way that not everyone believes that you as the teacher are a professional with good intentions and a primary concern for every child's well being.   It is unfortunate that lawsuits against teachers are becoming more prevelant, and it is imperative that we keep meticulous records of what we have done in the classroom, especially where parents are concerned.  I write all notes to parents on carbon copy notepads (I get them for free through the Highlights magazine offer sent at the beginning of the school year) so I know exactly what I wrote to who and when.  When I write about any particuarly touchy subjects (retention, extreme behavior problems, parental concerns) I type them and have my principal sign them before they are sent home.  This keeps him informed in case a parent calls, covers me in case my response was incorrect, and adds legitimacy to the words I have written. Excusal notes, early dismissal requests, concerns about classroom occurences, and any other written correspondence between me and the parent are kept in a special file labeled with the child's name. I also keep a Phone Documentation Log to keep track of all calls and what was spoken of.  Since I have begun keeping excellent records, I have not had any major issues with parents, and if something should arise in the future, I have a thorough paper trail to prove that I have been diligent in keeping parents informed and responding to their requests and concerns.  Read more about documentation on the Documentation page.

Creative Opportunities For Parents To Get Involved

1.  Allow parents to journal with their children.

This year, I plan to use Family Journals that will stay in students' BEE books.  Once every week or two (or more often as the individual child has time and desires), students will write a message to a family member, and take the BEE notebook home for the family member to reply.  I won't mark on it at all; it's just another way to help parents support learning at home and provide students with an authentic purpose to write.

2.  Provide opportunities beyond homework for families to support learning at home.

* Many parents want to volunteer but work: send home a survey asking for ways they would like to help, and then send home materials to be colored, cut out, assembled for centers, etc. whenever a parent has time.

* Suggest books for families to read together.

* Send home monthly or bi-monthly Home Learning Projects for families to do together.  Have students present their projects to the class and invite parents to come and watch.  You can view a sample HLP here soon.  Here's some tips for HLPs from Ponton's Pond.

* Use Family Literacy backpacks or soemthing similar with fun activities parents can do at home.  I call mine "Kids Into Thinking" (KITS), and I send home one each week to help kids learn math facts.  You can read more and print what I've downloaded on the Math KITs page.  Also check out:  Family Take Home Bags from Ourschoolfamily.com; the Buddy Project, which provides an unbelievable amount of resources for creating literacy backpacks: tips, printable forms, management systems, and tons of ideas for books to include and corresponding activities.  Yes, it takes awhile to create these, but this site has done most of the work for you, and you'll find the benefits are worth the time you spent (especially since you can use the same ones year after year!).  Also visit Mandy Gregory's site for 4th grade literacy bag info and these ready-to-print ideas for 2nd grade from Blanchard Elementary.

* Give parents activities they can do at home.  Many curriculums include these for teachers to reproduce, and there are lots of these on the web.  Here are some extensive summer activities from the state of Michigan for parents organized by grade level.

* Start a Family Fitness Program.  Students are encouraged to exercise for at least 20 minutes three times per week at home.  There is no penalty for not participating in the Family Fitness Program; however, there are incentives and prizes for those who do participate.  The term exercise is used loosely to indicate any sort of physical activity: soccer practice, basketball games, bike riding, jump roping, playing tag, walking the dog, etc.  These are activities that most of us used to do almost daily when we were children, but this generation is much less likely to be found outdoors playing.  We want to get children into this habit for a lifetime.  All they need to do is record their activity on the calendar in their BEE books and turn it in at the end of the month.  While the entire family is not obligated to participate, many families begin taking walks together once or twice a week, or go swimming on the weekends.  The Family Fitness Program is a motivator for everyone to get more active.  I’ll be participating, too!!  (See more on the Character Education page).

3.  Hold parent workshops to teach families HOW to support student learning and make them feel welcome in the classroom.

I hold these monthly or bi-monthly.  See the Family Festivities page for more.